Where low self-esteem and anxiety took me

I knew I was in trouble when the COVID-19 pandemic hit and we were all told to work from home.

I suffer from low-esteem and anxiety, and I’m constantly trying to please those around me. At work, I’m always taking on more than I can handle to prove my worth. I tend to compare myself to others which is often crushing to my self-confidence. 

Having to work from home made me feel like I needed to do even more to prove myself especially since my workplace couldn’t physically see how hard I was working. I would panic if I was even a few minutes late logging on, and the stress of wondering whether my manager was happy with me, soon became overwhelming. I also began arguing with my wife who didn’t understand why I couldn’t leave my computer for just 10 minutes to help her with something. 

Those were very tough times especially when the lockdowns further isolated us from our family and support networks. By the time Christmas came around, I was close to having a breakdown. During one of our arguments, I told my wife how unhappy I was. She encouraged me to call a support service. I did this and it referred me to Better Place Australia. 

My first counselling session involved me talking about my childhood; how I was body-shamed and bullied in school, and how I hated my physical appearance. I was also an introverted child who couldn’t stand up for myself, which made me an easy target for bullies. Being raised by a father who showed no emotion, taught me to hide my anxiety and depression so I wouldn’t be considered a ‘nuisance’. 

Once my story was out, the counsellor and I talked about creating a plan that inspired calm for me to carry around and refer to whenever and wherever I felt my stress levels rising. Then we talked about my high expectations of myself and why I felt the need to compare myself to others. The counsellor encouraged me to focus on my strengths, which was hard at first, but felt really good once I did. 

I also learnt ways to communicate effectively with my workmates, how to re-engage with family and friends, and how to properly take regular mental health breaks. All these were big steps for me. I was second-guessing myself all the time but the counsellor’s support and guidance helped me to get to where I needed to be. 

I had to take a psychological well-being assessment at the start, middle and end of my counselling sessions. My first score was 31, which meant severe psychological distress. A month later I scored 24, and by the end of the sessions my score was 19, which meant I was likely to recover psychologically. 

When I first started counselling, I wasn’t sure how much benefit it would bring me. Within a few months, I found I was having fewer negative thoughts and wasn’t obsessing over past incidences as much. I was also asking family and friends for support, and I wasn’t blaming myself as much. My depression and anxiety gradually reduced. 

My relationship with my wife improved over time. I don’t think I would have done it on my own. We’re now learning to communicate better with each other especially when either one of us is going through a tough time.

I believe that the tools and strategies I learnt won’t just help me through the challenging times, but will also help me prevent such situations from going from bad to worse. I feel more hopeful and confident taking care of my mental health from here on. 

Learn more about Better Place Australia’s Counselling for Individuals.

 

Better Place Australia counselling and psychology services

The mission of Better Place Australia is to empower people to become more resilient, enjoy healthier relationships and support them through challenging times. When it comes to life’s issues, Better Place Australia counselling and psychology services may be the answer for beginning your recovery process. For help, contact us today.