Managing behavioural problems in children

Sharon: Learning to bring my family back together again  

“Rob and I have two children – Wendy, 10 and Reese 14. They’re usually good kids but they suddenly displayed behavioural problems which really worried us. It started with Reese spending too much time playing computer games and ignoring the screen time rules we set for him. There were many heated arguments and punishments, but it didn’t change anything. He just became angry and withdrawn.

“Then Wendy began acting up by refusing to attend school. She had meltdowns in the morning which frustrated both of us because it made us late for work. When our gentle persuasions didn’t work, we started taking stern action and that just led to more distress for her.

“Rob and I decided that the temperaments of both our kids were problematic and needed to be changed. We contacted Better Place Australia to engage a child counsellor.

“We started off with two family sessions with a child counsellor where we talked about our family situation and parent-child relationship. A mix of individual and parent-child sessions were scheduled.

“Wendy really thrived in those sessions. The safe, non-judgemental and non-authoritarian space made her feel supported and free to use her creative ideas. She also felt empowered by the child counsellor who advocated for her needs with us. She was soon more willing to go to school.

“Meanwhile, Reese was able to understand and accept his responsibilities and rights around screen time and boundaries. As for Rob and I, we learnt how to respond to our children’s emotional distress in a way that didn’t involve compromising our own values.

“We also learnt the importance of allowing our children to express their needs and feelings as a way of coming to a solution.

“The child counsellor coached all of us on how to conduct our own family meeting which has been a game changer. We’re now able to work together to discuss and find solutions to issues that concern us. Each of us feels so much more supported this way.

“I’d say the biggest takeaway from the counselling sessions was the realisation that achieving positive behavioural change involves the entire family and isn’t one person’s responsibility. Understanding that helped us become a better family.”